Monday, September 03, 2007

Independence Day

I'm celebrating my Independence day this whole month. Been living on my own for the last five years...

Knowing that I'm an unica hija, independence was never included in my vocabulary, (though I'm used to doing things on my own and my self-reliance is at the highest). Yes, I'm the princess at home, I don't do the laundry nor iron the clothes, don't cook, don't wash the dishes, not even fix my bed after waking up... and no one can touch my things (not even my parents)... in its simplest form, I'm a spoiled brat... the one who bullies, the one who reasons out, the one who crosses over the curfews, the one who never runs out of excuses... (haha! maldita me...)

...And when an opportunity came... (a job offer and a relocation is needed) my parents send me off 130+ kilometers away from home...they must be thinking of teaching me a lesson here... (no doubt, they are right!). With all the bilins and pabaons: My bags contained not just clothes and toiletries... but hangers, photo albums, trinkets, steam flat iron, wall fan, television (the latter I brought when I settled in an apartment). (kulang na lang ipabaon nila ang buong kwarto ko at pagdalin ako ng kaldero, sandok at tabo...)

I did not ask for it... I did not beg for it... it was given to me freely... I was anxious yet excited... this could be an adventure, I thought.

The very first night I slept in the company dormitory, I cried a river... (turned to ocean!). Gosh! Where's my excitement? It dawned on me... I was alone!!! I was away from home... (Mama! uwi na ko dyan...)
I stumble over my adjustment period... failing grade on not crying every night, pasang-awa on my laundry, a little over pasang-awa on ironing my clothes and an incomplete on my cooking...(naman! order na lang ng food sa canteen).

After a month of battling against ghost stories in the dormitory, swimming alone in the pool, doing my laundry at 12midnight, a good samaritan accepted me in his home... (ayoz! kasi marunong sya magluto... kahit alien sa kin yung mga niluluto nya... hehehe! peace Tolitz!)

I succumb to my new found 'freedom' so much that I carelessly watch over my being too accomodating... so much of my kindness and wanting to belong... it resulted to misinterpretation of my actions... too liberating for my new environment... creating a wrong impression and a contentious lovelife... (it felt like Gretchen Barreto in the hotseat!).

Five years had passed and looking back always gives me a sense of fulfillment... I did not just surpassed going solo tribulations but I outwitted, outlasted and I survived nasty rumors and gossips. More than the responsibility of taking full charge in my life, it is the daily dealings, building and strengthening true friendships that are more important. It is this opportunity that gives self-knowing and God-dependency training... (and I passed with flying colors).

Five years had passed, and my greatest lessons in life are learned through this experience. I'm still single, independent and loving it!